Letter to an Angel
by N. Black - blackie
Summary: October 30th, 1981. James Potter writes his last love letter to his eternal ginger love.
1. Chapter 1

**I**

**"The Letter"**

"James?"

That was the first thing I heard once I woke up. It was Halloween's Eve, and Lily was going mad with the arrangements of the tea party we were going to have at home.

Still half – dressed, I came down the stairs and found Lily at the hall, apparently confused, holding two towels.

"Black or Orange?"

I looked at both of them, barely laughing about her worries.

"Well… Black."

"Be the orange is so pretty!" she answered. I rolled my eyes.

"So use the orange one."

"But the Black is easier to clean, if it gets dirty!"

Snorting, I grabbed both of the towels from her hands and arranged the two of them in the table, side by side. For my surprise, she stared at me for a second, and got closer.

"I love when you do this, I don't have to think about all of the problems by myself, you know.", she whispered.

I kissed her and we were getting "excited", when a strange noise came from upstairs. Smiling, we stopped and went to de baby's room, where Harry was almost freaking out inside de crib. I glanced at Lily, and realized how silly almost all the mothers are (except Sirius's, of course).

"Look at him! My little baby, dear! Come here, sweetheart!"

Oh god, bye to my evil plans. I barely smiled when she gave him to me and said that I had to take care of Harry, while she was preparing the tea party (what means that I can't let him touch anything without specific protection gear)

I walked through the house with him in my arms, wondering about all the years we would pass together, until we got in the living room, where I stopped and sat on the couch with him.

"You know, Harry", I said, "I'm gonna teach you how to play quidditch. It's about time, I've learned when I was very young, so I guess I could pick up you toy broom and teach you something".

He looked at me with his big green eyes. I gave him a quite stupid smile (maybe not only mothers are silly).

"Liked the idea?" I asked, while he gave me that strange laugh babies usually do.

Still smiling, he pointed to a black owl that was flying to our window, bringing a note in its leg.

"Exactly like the birds, kiddo."

I got up, taking good care, so Harry wouldn't move, and picked up the paper.

_Yo! Prongs! Alive? In case you're not, I promise I'll take good care of Harry and Lily for you! (Marlene is not going to see this.)_

_We've just got back for Paris, dude! Yeah, faint, the big Paris! Okay, was on a mission, but for us it was almost a honeymoon, if you got my drift. Tomorrow, we'll bring Wormtail to the party with us, Moony is already invited, I suppose._

_Best Wishes_

_Padfoot._

"Son of a bitch", I said, laughing.

"Don't you dare say bad words in front of the baby, James!" I heard Lily yell from the kitchen.

"But he doesn't understand what I'm saying, dear!"

"Whatever. Don't give a bad example for the baby!"

I rolled my eyes and walked to Harry, who now was looking at me interested.

"She thinks I'm a bad example for you."

Just because I'm very mean, I sat on the couch beside him and whispered in his little (way too little, by the way! I'm not going to get used to this!) ear:

"**Shit"**

He started laughing, and I wondered how Lily would react if she ever come to know about this. My eyes captured the clock. Lunch time.

"Hungry?"

I could say anything. That he was just a baby, that he couldn't understand. But this time, he answered.

"No"

Yeah, he said something. I just freaked out.

"LILY! Lily, come here, quickly!"

The other minute she was there, her hand clutching her chest.

"What happened? Is he hurt or something?"

I shook my head.

"He said something"

"WHAT?"

I tough she was going to get angry with me, for useless preoccupation, but she got in her knees in front of Harry and started to cry.

"I – I just can't believe this! Are you sure, Jim?"

"Check it out. Come on, Harry, say: Daddy."

With a little effort, he started.

"Daaaa…"

"That's it, boy, continue. Dy."

"Dy."

Suddenly I felt my eyes wet. Lily raised her eyebrow.

"And I'm the stupid one."

I showed my tongue to her and spined Harry in the air. She came back to the kitchen, still laughing at my face. When I stopped my "celebration moment", I nestled him in my arms and kissed his forehead.

"I love you"

"No, daddy."

And here we go.

"Lunch's ready!"

During the role lunch, we tried to make him speak every single thing he was eating, since simple word to the difficult ones, like chocolate. I bet anything that he got more tired this time than the role afternoon. At the end of the day, we received a letter from Dumbledore, saying that Dorcas Meadowes had been murdered by death eaters.

"No… No… J- James… Dorcas, James. My friend! She can't…"

While I was trying to calm her down, Harry approached carefully and raised his arms up. I picked him and put near her.

"Mo… My"

Still crying, she held him in her arms. When I saw them, I remember Edgar Bones' family that was killed a couple months ago. For some reason, I hugged both of them in my arms, promising nothing was going to harm them while I was around.

Later, I heard Lily calling me.

"Can you promise me something?"

I turned to her.

"'Course"

"I'm… I'm not strong enough"

I passed my arms around her, and felt her body nestle to me.

"Of course you are"

"No I'm not. I need you"

At least to me, she looked very fragile.

"Take care of me? Promise nothing's going to happen to me or Harry? Or to yourself? Please James, I need to hear this."

I tried to make my voice sound strong and calm.

"I promise. Nothing's going to harm you, not while I'm around"

She started to cry.

"I love you. Very much.", and kissed me.

I felt her hand in my hair, and my fingers in hers.

"Jim?"

I opened my eyes. The living room was all a blur to my eyes, so I picked up my glasses. Lily was smiling, resting on my chest.

"Hi. Let's go to our own room?"

We grabbed our clothes and went upstairs. When I glanced at her again, she was sleeping. I couldn't help myself, so I grabbed paper and pen and started writing.

_Lily,_

_I remember pretty well when we first met. All about the hatred that you felt for me, since you realize that, besides being spoiled and self – centered, I definitely wasn't into what you liked. And I confess that, at that time, I didn't like you either. I needed three years in Hogwarts to see in you more than just a stupid ginger head boring girly that waned to be more intelligent than anyone. When we were at fifth year I really realized that you were the woman of my life, although you were still thinking I was the same stupid spoiled boy that you met in the train. A year passed by, and I had to suffer the visions of you in the arms of Fabian Prewett and Amus Diggory. But all of this ended. As Dumbledore said once, everything is about to end or mutate. This just ended. Gone. The last year came, and I finally had your heart. I can sound arrogant, but I've always known that you would be mine. Or maybe I knew that me, and only me, would treat you the way you deserved, angel. And I'll have to confess one more dirty little secret: I cried at the day of our wedding. You didn't see, but I did it. Not of sadness or about the commotion of the day, but because of glory. 'Cause until that day, you were like a star to me, something I couldn't reach, but always shinning so I could look at you._

_And then came Harry, the final proof of my love to you. But with him came this war that captured us, locking our all our family in our own home._

_Whatsoever, I'll never go._

I looked at the paper, reading every single word on it. Oh, I forgot something. Maybe the most important thing. I forgot to say that I love her. Forgot to say that nothing else matters. The war, the deaths. Nothing. I'll always be there for her and Harry.

And then I went to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**October 31th**

_Lily,_

_I was there, playing with Harry, waiting for him to say "bubble" or "wand", when I heard you coming down the stairs._

_"Come on, he has to sleep and you too."_

_Smiling, I handlde the baby to you, barely knowing that that was the last time I would have him in my arms. You went upstairs, and I threw myself on the couch, waiting for the time you would come to join me. I was almost sleeping when a strange noise near the gates woke me up and called my attention. Too late. The next minute the door was in the floor. I think the last think I thought was that I would never be able to see you again, or teach something new to Harry. I sounds like I'm abandoning both of you, but this isn't true._

_My family, my dreams, the hopes and expectations that I had, all of them stopped by my dead body. In some place in my head, I thought I heard you crying from the top of the stairs, but maybe that was only a crazy dream of someone who's about to die._

_And Harry, never forget me. Maybe someday your mind will bring you back the sound of my voice, or a little of the love I felt to you until the end, and maybe after it._


End file.
